Chapter 7: Instincts

Taking the steps to at a time, Arnav headed up the stairs to his room. He quietly opened t door not wanting to wake up Khushi, but when he walked in he heard the shower on and knew that she must be awake. He threw his jacket on the recliner and headed over to the cupboard to take out his clothes, but stopped in his steps when he heard the sound of something falling behind him. When he turned around to where the sound came from, he saw a plate of jalebi's lying down on the ground, with the floor covered in the jalebis and Laxmi next to it trying to lick them.

"What the!" he exclaimed as he went towards it but the goat scurried and escaped through the french doors that went to the poolside, and he was left there with a mess of jalebis in front of him. He went around to pick up the mess up, and then he decided he’d call Hariprakash to mop it up so that it wouldn’t stay sticky. As he was doing that, the door from the bathroom opened and Khushi walked out. She saw Arnav crouched down on the floor, what was he doing? She thought confused and walked over to him, "Arnav what are you doing?"

"Woh ... I'm just cleaning up the mess," he said picking up the jalebis and putting them back on the plate.

"How did that happen?" she asked confused.

"Laxmi knocked it down," he replied getting up and turning around towards her.

"Where did you get the jalebis from?" Khushi asked.

"Remember last night you asked me to get jalebis for you, so I got them but apparently you were sleeping so I kept them on the bedside hoping you'd eat them when you woke up but seems like you didn't see them and then this happened," he told her motioning to the gooey on the floor.

"But where? There couldn't have been a single sweet shop open that late," she said.

" I uh ... I ...," he started but couldn't get the words out.

"Did you wake up Hariprakashji to make jalebis for me?!" she said in a higher voice and then slapped her head.

"NO NO, of course not," he said and thought about it for a second; how awkward would it have been asking HP to wake up and make jalebis for his wife in them middle of the night, that would've been such an embarrassing moment.

"Don't tell me you called Aman in the middle of the night and ask him to find some?" she exclaimed and turned away from him.

"Aman had nothing to do with it," he said moving towards her, "I made them."

"What the!" he heard from her and she turned around towards him, her eyes wide.

"Arnav Singh Raizada made jalebis?" she asked him in between her giggles and clutching her stomach trying to stop laughing.

"Yeah so?" he asked.

"Wait till I tell Di," she said and made an escape to leave but was pulled back by a tug in her wrists, her back against his front.

"You are not going to tell anyone," he said leaning up close.

"Someone scared?" she said tilting her head to look at him with a pout.

"Why should I be?" he replied.

"Then it won't matter if I tell or not," Khushi said trying to control her smile. Teasing her husband wasn't something she got to do all the time and now that she had the chance, she wasn't going to let slip that easily.

"But Khushi..." he tried reasoning with her and she took that opportunity to get out if his hold as run out if the room with her laughter echoing the halls. And he ran after her trying to catch up, "Khushi careful!" he yelled seeing her look back at him and not noticing the rug a few feet in front of her that was disorientated on the side. Arnav picked up his speed after her and grabbed her hand and swung her around, causing his foot to get caught in the rug and he fell backwards, with Khushi on top of him, her neck cradled in his neck.

"What the hell were you thinking Khushi? What if something happened to you or the child?" He asked her once they were standing up, rage visible in his voice. He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, then turned away for a few seconds then back to her. Khushi was trying to control the tears from coming out, but miserably was failing at it and they slowly made their way down her cheeks. With the back of her hand she quickly wiped them off, but that didn’t help as many more brimmed her eyes.

“Khushi ….,” Arnav whispered and took her into a hug, “Please don’t cry,” he said patting her head and rubbing one hand up and down her back.

“I.. I’...m s..orr...ryy,” she said between her muffled voice, her tears soaking up his shirt.

“You don’t need to apologize for anything,” he told her, “Just please be more careful; if anything happened to you or the child, I would never be able to forgive myself.”

“Now let’s get you back to the room, I’ll tell Hariprakash to bring up your breakfast,” he said lifting her.

*****************************

Arnav opened the door to the room and stepped inside. He had come home late from work, and had silently entered the house not wanting to wake up anyone else. They lights had been out and it's a little bit past midnight. Walking into the room he didn't turn on lights as Khushi was already in bed, Arnav went over to the cupboard and grabbed his night clothes to change into. These past weeks had been hectic, as he had tried to fit in as much work he could, so after Khushi's delivery he could take some weeks off. The past months had been even worse than the earlier ones. All the mood swings had started to kick in, she would cry over the smallest things, he heard an earful from Nani or Di just for loosing his temper easily in front of her, and had also become less shy.

Just last month he had been getting ready for work putting on his tie, and Khushi had come out of the shower, she offered to tie his tie for him, which resulted in her actually removing it and unbuttoning his shirt, telling him to go to work late. But when he had refused saying that it wasn't a good idea and having sex at this stage in her pregnancy might me risky, she had thrown a fit accusing him of not loving her anymore because she was getting fat and he didn't find her beautiful anymore. And of course when Di had come knocking on the door a few minutes later to call them down for breakfast, she had seen Khushi's tear streaked cheeks and ask him what he had done to make her cry. How was he suppose to explain that to his sister?

Now he walked out of the bathroom after having changed and what greeted him on the bed was his wife you was sitting with her back against the headboard and a hand running over her bulging stomach. He closed the door behind him, which made her avert her attentions from where she was staring to him. She motioned him to come into bed with her and he went around to the other side and slid in.

"I thought you were already asleep," he said wrapping a hand around her back and she leaned on to him placing her head on his shoulder.

"I was for some time, and then I heard you come in," she replied.

"I'm sorry to have ruined your sleep," he told her running a hand through her hair and moving it out of her face.

"It's fine," she said, "How was your day?”

“It was good, same as always,” he replied, “I have to go to Dubai for some days.”

“When are you leaving?” she asked.

“In three days,” he answered.

“How long?” she said.

“Only for a few days,” he replied.

“You’ll be back in time, right?” she said tilting her head to look up at him. He wrapped his other hand around the top of her bump and placed a chaste kiss on her temple, “Khushi the baby is due in two weeks, I’ll be back much before that.”

She placed her head back against his chest and snuggled closer, “I’m just worried,” she told him.

“Everything will be fine, even the doctor said that. There’s nothing to worry about sweetheart,” Arnav said comforting her.

“But what if it isn’t fine and something happens?” she asked in a whisper.

“As long as I’m here, i won’t let anything happen to the both of you,” he told her, “The doctor did say that this happens during the first pregnancy, all the worried feelings and not feeling like it will be fine. But hopefully after this child, you won’t be worried about the next one,” and neither will I he added to himself.

“Next one?!” she exclaimed.

“You do want more children right?” he asked looking back at her.

“I do … but after some time,” she said.

“Well we can always practice till then,” he said chuckling while she gasped and pushed him away.

Chapter 6: Early Morning Blues

The next few weeks, leading into months went by with Arnav making sure that Khushi had nothing hard to do. By strict orders from him, the family wasn’t allowed to have her work in the kitchen. And Nani along with Anjali were to stop her from doing any other work in the house.

Arnav had insisted that her food also be brought to their room, but Khushi had clearly rejected that and said that she would eat with everyone else. She was getting annoyed with him being so cautious of everything, the amount of food she ate, what she ate, how long she slept and so much more. And thats how she ended up fighting with him one night when he kept on denying her things.

“Arnav...utho naa (wake up)...,” Khushi said nudging him.

“Khushi let me sleep,” he murmured turning away from him.

“Arnavvv!!” she groaned sitting up against the headboard and pulled his shirt. He didn’t respond so she turned on the night table lamp.

Arnav buried his face in the pillow as the lights turned on, but it wasn’t helping. He looked over at the clock and it read 1 am, he’d have to wake up in a couple hours for his morning jog. Sliding the sheets off of himself, he slowy rose up to look at his now fully awake wife, that only God knows why couldn’t sleep at this time.

“Hmmh,” he said not wanting to say much more as he was still sleepy.

“I’m hungry,” she answered.

“Khushi it’s 1 in the morning, just go to sleep, eat when you wake up,” he replied.

“No! I want to eat right now,” she adamantly said.

“We just ate a few hours ago, how are you even still hungry? You ate so much more than me,” he said.

“Well if you haven’t noticed for the past 4 months that I’m pregnant and am not just eating for myself anymore!” she answered back annoyed.

“Of course, how could I forget. You and your constant mood swings,” he muttered and sat up next to her.

“I heard that. And are you making fun of me?!” she said angrily.

“No no, not at all,” he told her.

“So are you going to get me food or not?” she asked.

“I’ll go bring something from the kitchen,” he replied ready to get off the bed.

“I want jalebi’s,” she added.

“What the?!” he answered back and sat back down with her, “Where am I suppose to get jalebi’s from at this hour in the morning?”

“So you’re not going to get me them,” she asked getting teary eyed.

“Khushi why are you crying,” he asked cupping her face, “It’s just jalebi’s, I’ll ask Aman to get a shop to send them to the house first thing in the morning tomorrow.”

And the tears on her cheeks swarmed down faster. Oh no, Arnav thought. Why did women always get so hormonal during their pregnancy? She had started getting so emotional over the past few weeks and crying over every small thing. He would never have refused jalebi’s to her, but at this time in the morning?! Where was he suppose to get them from?

“Khushi please stop crying,” he said wiping the tears from her cheeks.

“B...bu..but the jal… ebi’s,” she added in her muffled voice.

“I’ll go see if there are any in the fridge downstairs,” he replied in an exasperated voice. Arnav pulled the covers back on her and told her he’d be back. He walked out of the room into the hallway, then down the stairs. Everyone was sleeping so turning on the hallway lights wouldn’t be a good idea, but the moonlight shined through the window curtains so he could see a bit. He walked into the kitchen and turned on the small light, then opened the refrigerator to see if there were any jalebi’s leftover, but to his bad luck there weren’t any.

Waking up any of the Prakash brothers to make jalebi’s wasn’t a valid idea either, they would ask him questions about why he needed jalebi’s at this time in the morning, and he didn’t want to face that kind of embarrassment. Then going back to his room empty handed wasn’t something he could do either. So he did the next available option he could think of, taking out his phone he looked up a recipe on how to make jalebi’s. Then after some looking around the kitchen cabinets and storage, he took out all the things he needed in order to make jalebi’s.

Who would’ve thought, Arnav Singh Raizada, a business tycoon would be making jalebi’s for his pregnant wife at this time in the morning. No one better find out about this, he thought while pouring the batter into the coned bags. He added oil to the big pan, and started pouring the batter to make the jalebi’s. It started to get hot and the oil was flying back at him so he stepped back a pit. He pulled out the jalebi’s with the spatula thing, he didn’t even know what it was called. Well he’d never really stepped into the kitchen before, so could he even know. Arnav placed the jalebi’s on a plate and looked at what he had just made. The jalebi’s were were a dark brown color, and just looking at them made him not want to eat it. He took the few that he made and threw them in the trash, now to trying again. After many failed attempts, he was able to make some that weren’t burnt completely, but they were still dark. They would have to do, he thought. There was no way that they would come out any better than this. He turned around to start cleaning, but his hand brushed against a metal jar and next thing he knew it all went down and out came flour from it.

Oh great, he thought. now he would have to clean up all the flour from the floor also. But after half an hour, he looked around the kitchen and saw that it was just the way that it had been when he had entered earlier. The only difference was in him, a plate of jalebi’s in one hand, his sweater covered in flour; he’d have to take a shower when he go back upstairs. Making his way to his room, he made sure that he didn’t make any noise. Waking up anyone else and being questioned what he was doing at this wasn’t something he wanted.

He quietly opened the door to his room and stepped in, only to find his wife sound asleep. He looked over at the clock and noticed it had been over and hour since he had gone done, of course she would’ve fallen asleep by now. Arnav placed the plate of jalebi’s on the nightstand that was next to her side of the bed, maybe she’s want them when she woke up. He decided to leave off the idea of taking a shower right now, he would have to wake up in a few hours and could just do it then. Also the noise might startle her and he didn’t want to disturb her sleep. He lifted his arms over his head and removed the flour covered sweater, and tossed it on the recliner, then joined his wife in bed. He adjusted her had so she was more comfortable and wrapped his arm around her waist; and now it didn’t even reach the complete other side of the bed since her stomach was growing. The doctor had told her to mostly sleep on her back, as sleeping on her sides may cause her to feel uncomfortable and pain her.

*********

The next morning Arnav walked inside back from his morning jog and went to their kitchen to get a drink of orange juice.

Just then his Di also came from the kitchen, “Good morning Chotte.”

“Good morning Di,” he replied.

“Is Khushi still sleeping?” she asked.

“Yeah, I was going to go and wake her up,” he said taking another sip from his glass.

“Did you both get into a fight last night?” Anjali questioned him.

“Not that I know of, why would you think that Di?” he asked confused.

“It’s just there were jalebi’s in the dustbin and I thought maybe she started making jalebi’s last night,” she said causing Arnav to choke on his orange juice.

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Chapter 5: Acceptance

 

 

Arnav had been expecting this question after the way he had behaved with her. She wasn't aware of what he had been thinking, and had asked this question based on what he had said earlier about not having kids.

"Do you?" she asked again, this time a whisper fearing what might come out of his mouth

"Of course I do Khushi," he replied back.

He leaned forward and pecked her, resting his head against hers. He began kissing her again, this time more slowly; a kiss that was more than just want, it was full of his acceptance towards their unborn child. Telling her that he indeed wanted the baby, because no words would be enough to say it for him. He nibbled on her bottom lip as she tried to gasp for air then took that as an opportunity to thrust his tongue inside of hers. He hovered over, trying to gain more access, moving his lips along her jawline, placing wet kisses then nuzzled into her hair. She wound her fingers in his hair, and pulled him closer, her eyes tightly shut.

"Khushi," he murmured against her neck.

"Hmmm," she managed to say.

"I'm sorry for what I said earlier, I was just exaggerating and had no clue. I would never have said that if I had knew" he said moving his nose along her jaw.

"I'm just worried if I'll make a good father or not," he told her and Khushi opened her eyes with that. It now made sense to why he hadn't responded earlier. He didn't want to turn out like his father, the father that left behind his wife and kids.

"Arnav you've made a great brother for Di, a great husband for me, and you'll be a wonderful father for our baby," she said running her hands through his hair but he didn't respond.

"You aren't going to be anything like your father," Khushi told him and he moved his face up looking at her with disbelieve. How did she manage to know that's what he was afraid of? He never had to say anything to her, but she would always know what he was thinking.

"We can't do anything about the past, it is what it is. But we shouldn't use that as a way to predict our future. Just because your Dad left and wasn't a good father, doesn't mean you won't be one either. It doesn't run in the blood like that," she said.

"Now go to sleep, you have office tomorrow," she said and he settled beside her; one arm around her back and one leg swung over her hip. Khushi snuggled closer into his neck and they drifted off to sleep.

*********************

The next morning Arnav felt the suns rays peer through the window and the light on his face. He crinkled his face then moved onto his stomach, his arm spread wide trying to find someone. But instead it made contact with an empty sheet. He opened his eyes and saw that Khushi wasn't there. Maybe she had already gotten ready. Looking over at the clock, he decided to get up and get ready.

Khushi was in the kitchen making the breakfast when Anjali walked in.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm good, my head just hurts a little bit," Khushi replied.

"Yeah that happens, but it will hopefully get better," Anjali told her.

"Anjali bitiya is the food ready?!" Nani called from the living room.

"Ji Nani, we are bringing it!" Anjali said.

The both carried the food to the table and placed it on there. Everyone had started coming to the table and were getting settled. Arnav came down the stairs and took the seat next to Khushi.

The breakfast was being eaten and everyone was chatting with each other.

"Khushi pass me the butter,” Arnav said looking down at a text message he had received from office. But instead of being handed the bowl of butter, he heard a loud sound of a chair moving and caught glimpse of a flying yellow cloth from the corner of his eye.

"What the?!" He said seeing Khushi running away with a hand covering her mouth.

He looked back to everyone at the table and they were all looking at him, "I'll go see how she is," he said getting up to follow her.

He rushed towards the bathroom to where she was, the door was open so he walked in and found her leaning over the toilet throwing up. He kneeled behind her and moved her hair out of the way, and settled her onto his lap. Khushi felt her small amount of breakfast she had just rising up her throat over and over again, not wanting to stop. Her mouth had become a very bitter taste now, she leaned towards him and rested her head on his shoulder.

Arnav rubbed her back. She got up and cleaned herself up and he asked, “Should I call the doctor?”

“It’s just morning sickness, you don’t need to call the doctor,” she replied back smiling.

They walked back into their room and Khushi noticed the time, “HAWH?! Arnav it’s already 10, you should leave for office.”

“Don’t worry, I run the office and can go whenever I want to,” he said.

“But don’t you have an important meeting today?” she asked.

“Why did you have to remind me of that?” he snaked his arms around her waist and hugged her from behind.

“Bye, you need to leave now,” Khushi said turning around towards him.

“Ok, bye,” he said and leaned into kiss her but she blocked it with her hands and said with a disgusting face, “I just puked right now.”

 

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Chapter 4: Doubtful Minds

“Kya sach mein?!” Anjali exclaimed and the doctor nodded.

“She’s only along for a few weeks so far, but please take care of her health and if you have any questions, then just call me,” the doctor said and left.

Everyone entered the room to find Khushi sitting up on the bed. She looked up at them when they entered.

“Khushiji I’m so happy for you!” Anjali said giving her a hug.

“Yes bitiya, this is great news, finally we’ll have another child running around our house in a few months, And I’ll become a grandmother again,” Nani said.

They all congratulated her o this wonderful news. All of them carried a smile on their faces, except for one that was standing in the back of the crowd lost in his thoughts. Anjali noticed Khushi staring at Chotte, so she told everyone that they should leave and give her some time to rest. Everyone agreed and left both of them alone.

Arnav didn’t know what to make of the situation, he was having mixed emotions and didn’t know exactly how to face Khushi. Earlier he had just told her that he didn’t want to have any kids, and now he had just found out that she was having a child. Would she think that he didn’t want the child? On top of that, she had seen someone else all over him near the poolside.

Khushi kept on looking at him, different emotions occupying his face, as if he was fighting with himself. He probably needs some time alone to think, she thought. She spun her legs around the bed and tried to get up, but being the clumsy person she is, she slipped on the pallu of her sari and was about to fall head first onto the floor when a strong pair of arms caught her.

“Khushi do you need something?” Arnav questioned her.

“No, I’m just going to change my clothes,” she said and he took his grip off of her. Khushi headed towards the cupboard and removed her night clothes from there and went into the bathroom. She closed the door behind her and then changed into her clothes. Arnav hadn’t said anything to her, nor had he tried to talk with her yet. Was he even happy with the pregnancy or not? She felt a lump form in her throat at the thought of not being able to keep their child. But Arnav wouldn’t want to abort it would he? Maybe he had just been a little bit angry and not in the right state of mind when he said he was happy they didn’t have any kids. She slid down the walls of the bathroom, as her tears made their way down her cheeks; her head buried in her knees, trying to forget everything and hoping it was just a dream.

Arnav had changed into his night clothes also and went outside into the poolside to clear his mind out. He needed to confront Khushi about everything and make it all clear to her before she assumed anything. First he would have to tell her about what happened at the poolside, so that she didn’t get some cray ideas of him cheating on her. He also needed to tell her what he had said about not having kids earlier was just something that came out of his mouth according to that situation. Of course he wanted this child, it was their child, a symbol of their love. There was a knock on the door, and he went to open it. Hari Prakash had brought their dinner for them as they hadn’t already eaten, Arnav took it and put it on the coffee table. He looked around the room and realized Khushi hadn’t come out yet. Was she still in the bathroom? It had been over half an hour since she had been in their. His mind quickly panicked and he rushed to the bathroom door and knocked on it.

“Khushi are you in there?” he asked knocking at the same time, “Please open the door Khushi.” There was no response coming from her,but he could hear her sniffled sobs. Crap! What had he done? Arnav thought to himself.

“Jaan please open the door, I’m getting worried,” Arnav said again but their wasn’t any response again. He turned the door knob and realized it was open, quickly opening the door he rushed in. He found her sitting against the wall, with her head in her knees. Dropping right beside her, he touched her shoulder.

Khushi was too lost in her thoughts that she didn’t hear the knocking on the door, or when he had entered. She elt a nudge on her shoulder and looked up to find him satring at her with concerned eyes. Arnav noticed the dried tears that were now resting on her cheeks and wiped away the ones that were making their way down.

“I….I’m…s…sor…,”Khushi attempted to talk but the words go lost in her throat as Arnav picked her up and carried her back to their room. He put her on the bed, with her back against the headboard. He got the plate from the table and got into bed beside her. Moving right against her, he pulled the comfortoer up will their waist and placed the tray of food on his lap.

“Khushi have dinner,” he said looking up at her.

“Arnav I need to talk to you,” Khushi said.

“We can talk after eating, please just east first. It’s bad for your health, especially now that you have another life to take care of you inside,” he said and lifted the spoon and brought it to her lips. She opened her mouth to eat the food. Arnav fed the rest of the dinner to her while feeding himself at the same time, neither of them spoke anything and ate in silence, the only noise coming from the clanking of the spoon. He placed the tray of food on side table then turned his attention towards her again.

He lied her down, and then lied down also right beside her after turning off the lamp.Khushi turned towards him and buried her head in the crook of his neck, with her right arm going around her back. Arnav also hugged her back and placed a soft kiss on her temples.

“Khushi why were you crying,” he asked after waiting for her to talk, but she hadn’t said anything. Arnav moved his had back a little bit to see her face.

“Was this about what happened at the poolside? Because you know I would never do anything like that to you, you’re the only one I love and will love for the rest of my life,” he said in a hoarse whisper.

“I know you would never do anything like that to me,” Khushi said cuppping his face with her hand, “I had heard the conversation that she was having with you before.”

“I’m really sorry that you had to see that, I didn’t know she had been following me,” he replied again.

“Hmm I know,” she said.

“Then why were you crying? Were you feeling sick or any pain?” Arnav said.

“Arnav do you want this baby?” she asked hesitantly looking up into his eyes.

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